Are you tired of those sissy ‘friendship’ poems? Ya, me too. I’m sick and tired of getting these stupid emails telling me to forward this sh*t or else your nuts will fall of, or something to that extent.

What the hell? Are people really that f*cking stupid. Have we really digressed in society that people believe this sh*t?

Well, I’m not passing this on, but I received it within an email and all holds true in life to me. Here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this post. Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad –I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew!
2. When you are blue — I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile — I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you’re scared — we will high tail it out of here.
5. When you are worried — I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya big baby!
6. When you are confused — I will use little words.
7. When you are sick –Stay away from me until you are well again. I don’t want whatever you have.
8. When you fall — I’ll pick you up and dust you off–After I laugh my butt off!!

This is my oath…I pledge it to the end. ‘Why?’ you may ask — because you are my FRIEND!

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.