Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old U.S. Marine Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq . The leader of the terrorists told them he’d grant each of them one last request before they were beheaded and dragged naked through the streets.

Katie Couric said, Well, Im a Southerner, so Id like one last plate of fried chicken. The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chicken. Couric ate it all and said, Now I can die content.

The leader turned and said, And now, Mr. US Marine, what is your final wish?

Kick me in the ass, said the Marine. What? asked the leader, Will you mock us in your last hour? No, Im NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass, insisted the Marine.

So the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the ass. The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm on six terrorists, with his knife he slashed the throat of one with an AK-47, which he took, and sprayed the rest of the terrorists killing another 11!

In a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying Couric, Gibson and Williams, they asked him, Why didn’t you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him to kick you in the ass?

What!?! replied the Marine, and have you three assholes report that I was the aggressor….?

Hope you enjoy this and way to fucking Marines, good to see you’re all still kicking ass. Good hunting.

The rules of engagement for CQB is ridiculous. The dirt bag terrorists and insurgents don’t have rules and the US has the most trigger stopping rules in history.Give our guys a chance, let them fire their weapon when needed.

“Aim towards the Enemy.”
-Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

“When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.”
-U.S. Marine Corps

“Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground.”
-U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop

“If the enemy is in range, so are you.”
-Infantry Journal

“It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.”
-U.S. Air Force Manual

“Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.”
-Gen. MacArthur

“Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.”
-Infantry Journal

“You, you, and you . . . Panic. The rest of you, come with me.”
-U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.

“Tracers work both ways.”
-U.S. Army Ordnance

“Five second fuses only last three seconds.”
-Infantry Journal

“Don’t ever be the first, don’t ever be the last, and don’t ever volunteer to do anything.”
-U. S Navy Swabbie

“Bravery is being the only one who knows you’re afraid.”
-David Hackworth

“If your attack is going too well, you’re walking into an ambush.”
-Infantry Journal

“No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.”
-Joe Gay

“Any ship can be a minesweeper… once.”
-Anon

“Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.”
-Unknown Marine Recruit

“Don’t draw fire; it irritates the people around you.”
-Your Buddies

“If you see a bomb technician running, follow him.”
-U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop

Gays in the military, what is this world coming to. I served in the US Navy for almost 10 years. My first ship, the USS Arkansas had one of the first “out of the closet” guy/girl (what the hell do you call them?) incident. We had CNN, Fox, and all kinds of news people on board and out in town. They were looking for guys off the ship to comment. I Belize every comment was negative, hate-based, and very anti-gay. I was right along side with them on their comments. Didn’t want any gay people on the ship, didn’t want them around.

This fuck.. who as a coward, denied being gay, wore pink spandex shorts on a daily basis jogging around the deck of our ship while stationed in the Persian Gulf. Every one eventually got the clue… then the threats began. They got worse, very worse and the gay person had to finally come out as soon as the ship got stateside in Hawaii.

Ohhhh… I’m being insensitive, being cruel. Well, fuck you and your gay beliefs. I don’t gay bash, I don’t publicly look down on them. I do get pissed off when you see these faggy gay pride parades, or two guys making out publicly, or talking like someone squeezed their nuts. Why do they feel they must do this? You don’t see Heterosexual pride parades… the hetro’s don’t have their “own” slur as the real faggy ones do…

Anyways, back to the Navy and ship issue. Being a hetro guy, I didn’t want some fag in the ships showers, getting dressed with all of the straight guys. How is this ANY fucking different than allowing the women on the ship to shower with the guys… any answers? Thought not. SO, to all you gay people in the military… leave the fighting to REAL MEN, not half-mutated-mentally ill gay people. We don’t want you, the military doesn’t want you…

Again, this isn’t to “bash” the gay people; it is to bash the gay people who serve under cover in the military. GET OUT!