The 1st passenger said, “I am Kobe Bryant, the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers need me, and I can’t afford to die.” So he took the 1st pack and left the plane.

The 2nd passenger, Hillary Clinton said, “I am the wife of a former U.S. President, a NY State Senator, and a potential future president. And I am the smartest woman in American history, so America ’s people don’t want me to die.” She took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.

The 3rd passenger, Ted Kennedy said, “I am a US Senator, the democratic party needs me, and my liver still has some good years left.” So he grabbed the pack next to him and jumped.

The 4th passenger, Billy Graham, said to the 5th passenger, a 10 year old schoolgirl, “I am old and frail and don’t have many years left, and as a Christian I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute.”

The girl said, “That’s okay. There’s a parachute left for you. The Bitch who called herself America’s smartest woman took my school bag.”